today i began my laundry marathon.
which meant i spent the better part of my day trying to figure out which clothes i wanted to bring with me to school.
needless to say, my room is a mess.


anyway, my parents dragged me out to eat in the middle of my sorting.
and during lunch, i realized just how old they were.
i'm not saying they're ancient or anything.. just that they aren't young anymore.


with me gone, the nest is finally empty, so to speak.
and i think my parents feel a bit lost. for the past 23+ years, their lives have basically revolved around the life of their kids. and now that we're both gone, i think they're at a loss as to what they have to do now.
and it makes me a little sad to see them that way.


lately, a lot of things have been making me sad.
all the said goodbyes, all the will-fade-and-forgotten memories that have been made.
i hate the thought of losing the friendships i have now, both close and not-so-close.
i don't want to only know these people through the memories and good times we've had.
i want to keep making memories with them.
heck, i want to be able to invite them to my wedding in 10 years.
perhaps i'm being selfish.

or maybe i just don't like change.
=_________=



AND.. on top of all that, i think i'm terrified about school.
i'm afraid of who i'll become.
i'm afraid of what kind of idiots i'll meet. [ not really afraid. just.. annoyed ]
i'm afraid of whether or not i'll make friends.
i'm afraid of how much weight i'll gain. [ AHHH >.< ]
i'm afraid of what will happen to my faith.


and at the same time, i'm excited for all of the above.


i don't like feeling all these emotions, all these feelings.
not all at once.
especially because i can't do anything about any of it.
i can just count down the days to when i move in, to when classes start.
and pray like heck for His help :]




.. which is why i started a DA account this week!
hahaha
i figured it'd take my mind off all this stuff for awhile XD